Thursday, November 6, 2008

An Open Letter to Cleo


Cleo,

(you don't deserve the "dear" greeting). You are a very pretty betta fish. Your tendrils are long and healthy. Your bowl is a little small but that's not your fault.

So. You are currently on the hit MTV show THE HILLS. Face-time, name recognition and everything. Though, sadly, you are owned by "Lo", easily the worst HILLS character (this is like being the prized pet of Cousin Oliver back in THE BRADY BUNCH days). But, like the size of your pathetic bowl, it's not your fault.

But here's the thing. Before you were introduced on THE HILLS this week, my character, Betta George, was easily the most famous betta fish in the world. He was fictional, sure, but named after (and looking exactly like) my prized, long-gone fish George. George EARNED his fame. He swam and he ate and he wasn't owned by an awful lady (seriously, couldn't you have at least been purchased by Audrina? With her adorable smile, blank dead-eyed stare and non existent personality she's this generation's Andrew Shue).

To sum up: don't get comfortable on your throne as king of all Betta fish. Remember, MTV burns through it's personalities. Do I even have to remind you of Tabitha Soren? Yes, yes I probably do. Which is my point.

Sleep with one fish eye fish open.

Brian Lynch

PS. You're clearly a boy betta and you're named Cleo. Good luck with the future therapy.

7 comments:

Sophie said...

That was awesome. Betta George is so the best Betta Fish, hands down. Does IDW make comics related... stuff (don't know what it call it), like a Betta George plush or something...? I'd so buy that.

PatShand said...

Angel/The Hills crossover: Betta George vs. Cleo. In which Angel teams up with good old George and casts the Hills characters into a familiar, fiery place.

SaveALemming said...

Yeh but has anybody bothered home making a Cleo puppet? Didn't think so.

Sophie, making your own George plush wouldn't be too hard. My puppet would've probably been better off as just a plush, but I really wanted him to be a puppet.

http://www.angrynakedpat.com/wwwboard/viewtopic.php?t=1930

Sophie said...

Nice, savealemming! Totally worth the sacrafice of a Halloween costume, imo. I love that 1) you used the "Tabula Rasa" Spike for re-enacting the Shaddow Puppets scene 2) Betta George in a Jayne hat.

rich said...

i play with puppets....

oh yea...it ain't any weirder than any of your comments, trust me. talking about a silly fish. a silly fish that is best served with sauce i'd like to point out. think about that the next time you eat a seafood salad. personally i hope he gets fried. he caused the death of slayers or did you all forget!!! he's an evil fish that will get his comeuppance very soon.
brian -
every nite think to yourself, "how can i kill off betta george, how can i kill off betta george"
eh eh eh eh

Fenderlove said...

Spike could totally beat up Spencer Pratt and his ugly flesh-coloured beard! Wait, Spencer Pratt? Oh, God, I hope he and Spike aren't somehow distantly related. O__O

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