THE MOST strip 1

Written by me, art by the far more talented Matt Cummings. Hope you enjoy a behind the scenes look at the making of your new favorite webcomic. Click on the image to embiggen.

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Trendsetters: The Most Influential People of 2010

2009 was shot in the face and put to bed. We're all up in 2010. It'll be a year full of new beginnings, old middles, and used-but-like-new endings.

Who will lead the charge in the dawn of the new decade? Who will set the tone, call the shots, influence everyone in 2010? I've thought about this long and hard. And so, without further adieu (to all those bringing MORE adieu, you're too late, we're up to here with it, so take it home and have leftover adieu tomorrow), I bring you the people that I THINK will have the biggest impact on 2010, from most to least powerful.

TRENDSETTERS: THE MOST INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE OF 2010.

1. My wife Carrie


Let's face it, she's a ball-buster and she's super bossy. She's always like "pick that up" and "put pants on" and I do it. 2010 will continue this trend, as she's got, like, a list of household fixer upper jobs for me and that look in her eye.

2. Barack Obama


He's the President of the United States of America, and in a crazy Disneyesque mix'em up, this guy is black AND cool. He makes all sorts of laws and taxes, and if he wanted to, he could suddenly make me wanted for murder. For that reason alone, he deserves a high ranking on my list.

3. My boss


My boss tells me what to do and when to do it. But only at work, which is why my wife ranks above him. Although sometimes he gives me work to take home and it bleeds over into my home life. Any way, he could fire me which would suck but he CANNOT frame me for murder.

4. Lady Gaga


She's the voice of a new generation, and sometimes she wears muppets all over her body like some kind of teenage Cruella DeVille in a straight to video 101 DALMATIANS prequel. She is the future of entertainment and a trendsetter and I find her teachings creeping into my every day routine. Plus she finally gave an anthem to all those poor souls who were born with pokers for faces.

5. My Parents


They raised me. The values they instilled in me guide my actions like a ghost Christopher Lloyd in a straight to video ANGELS IN BRIAN'S LIFE prequel. And yes, while their personal beliefs have often clashed with Lady Gaga's teachings, I am able to find a happy medium and become the alpha dude.

6. Batman


He's fucking scary. The mere thought of him keeps me on the straight and narrow. Ain't no way I'm (a) committing a crime or (b) stepping foot in Gotham City. That place is NUTS.

7. Diora Baird


She's really hot, but at the same time, as evidenced on HER TWITTER, also really funny. Which motivates me to not just rest on my perfect bone structure and killer body. She's like a sexy angel on my shoulder that whispers "you can do it, you can be all you can be DON'T TOUCH ME THERE be the best you that you know how I'M SERIOUS I WILL PRESS CHARGES."

8. Steven Spielberg


While we haven't met yet, I'd assume this is probably the year he calls and asks me to pen E.T. VS. JURASSIC PARK. Spoilers: E.T. wins. Levitation and level 4 healing and shit.

9. Joss Whedon


I write a bunch of books featuring his characters, and his work has been an ENORMOUS influence on me, but more importantly, I know deep down that 2010 is the year I'm going to call Joss Whedon and rub it in that I'm working with STEVEN FUCKING SPIELBERG. Take that, Joss.

I will only do this, of course, if Spielberg calls me and asks me to pen E.T. VS. JURASSIC PARK. If not, take Spielberg off this list and replace him with "Jesus" (though I admit that this is simply an attempt to get a mention on Jesus' Twitter) and take Joss off this list and replace him with "the lady at Quizno's who tells me to lose weight every time I go in."

10. Me


Let's face it, I am the captain of my own destiny here. When all is said and done, my wife can tell me what to do, and my boss can tell me what to work on, and Batman can tell me to keep my nose clean, but what I do is 100% up to me. And let that be a lesson to all of you, and this is pretty universal, at the end of the day, no matter what anyone says, you can't tell me what to do, so fuck off. Unless you're on this list, in which case, you CAN, but I might not listen. Though if you are high up on the list chances are I will.

11. Thora Birch


I have to admit, I forgot what this list is about at this point. I should probably wrap up. But check out my Twitter HERE if you want to read more of my mind-goo, and remember...always always ALWAYS something or other, lost my train of thought, so tired.

The Best (and Worst) Movies of 2009

Every other site is compiling their best of/worst of lists, and everyone's asking me "Brian, what movies left their mark on YOUR brain?" well, I have to admit, I don't have the best memory, but I'll do my best to remember. Please, sit back, pull up a chair, and let's have us a one-sided conversation about the BEST and WORST of 2009.

THE BEST MOVIES OF 2009

10. ZOMBIELAND (2009)


Woody Harrelson and Jessie Eisenberg head an all-dead cast in a joustabout round of fun that was a treat for my funny bone AND horror bone. Definitely see this movie BEFORE someone ruins the fact that Bill Murray has a really funny surprise cameo.

09. THE UGLY TRUTH (2009)


Katherine Heigl plays an uptight shrew who’s unlucky at love. Gerard Butler plays a caveman pretending to be Howard Stern. Ain’t no way these guys are gonna find love! Truth is, I have no idea if they do. I just watched part of this on On Demand last week because my wife was sick and wanted a romantic comedy, so here you go.

08. WHIP IT (2009)

I didn't see this movie but I just got back from an amazing hotel that had a really funny commercial for it on the Pay-Per-View. Actually it wasn't that funny but the dinner I had before it was amazing so I was in a really good mood. Anyway, everyone involved with WHIP IT should be proud, maybe.

07. FANTASTIC MR. FOX (2009)


I saw this one straight through so already it's better than THE UGLY TRUTH. George Clooney plays a puppet or something, I got bored and checked Twitter. GREAT performance by Ashton Kutscher, wait, that was Twitter, but MR. FOX was good.

06. THIS IS IT (2009)

A heartbreaking portrait of okay I didn't see this either. I have a lot going on, okay? But it was probably great because Michael Jackson is a wonderful performer, and CAPTAIN EO was alright so this is probably, at the very least, fair to middling. At least better than the George Clooney/Ashton Kutscher puppet buddy comedy.

05. A SERIOUS MAN (2009)


I saw this one, credits to credits, but I still don't think I saw the whole movie. It doesn't matter, really. The Coen Brothers prove that if you make an amazing movie, you don't NEED to end it. Besides, walking out of a movie feeling like you saw the entire story is SO pre-LORD OF THE RINGS.

04. FAME (2009)

FAME only beats A SERIOUS MAN because it had an ending. Oh, and dancing. It wasn't great, but again, I saw it kinda recently so it's fresh in my mind. Also, it had a trailer for WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE which I thought was beautiful. Damn, I wish I had seen WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, I bet that would have been on my list.

03. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE (trailer)

The trailer really made me ask "well, where are they?" which is what a trailer should do. It had a great soundtrack, too. The trailer, not sure about the movie. The movie could have had nothing but cats farting and I wouldn't know. Actually, not true, if they had done that, I definitely would have heard about it.

02. CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS (2009)

I made it through the entire movie. It made me hungry, though, because the food was coming at me in 3-D and if food flies at me in 3-D, I want it to land in my mouth. After I saw the movie, we went to Cheesecake Factory and I told the waitress (jokingly) to throw the food at me. Long story short, she didn't see the movie and it was soup and I am disfigured. The waitress apologized and I told her to make it up to me she could take me and my wife on a tour of the ACTUAL Cheesecake Factory with all the smokestacks and conveyor belts and (hopefully) cheesecake elves. She looked at me like I was an idiot. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, best movies of 2009. Without further adieu, the best movie of 2009.

01. THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON (2009)



I just saw this and I gotta say, this is EASILY the most recent movie of 2009. It had everything I could want in a movie: drama, romance, werewolves and recentness. In all seriousness, it's a modern day classic.

But not everything was as good as THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON. Not even close. Which leads me to my top 5 (bad movies don't deserve 10) worst movies of 2009.

THE WORST MOVIES OF 2009

05. THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON (2009)


It was great and all, but the writing was stupid at times, and it was boring, and the actors were boring and the direction was boring. A shrug meh feh eh whatevs of a film but other than that, LIS ("like I said"), perfect.

04. AVATAR (2009)

I have only seen the trailers but it comes off like someone hired Brian Michael Bendis to reboot THE SMURFS. On second thought, that sounds awesome, is it too late to move AVATAR to the "best of" list? It is? Aw, Smurf. I mean, aw, Avatar.

03. THE INFORMANT! (2009)


This movie title lied to me because I thought it was going to be exciting but it wasn't. Remember the show VOYAGERS! that had had an exclamation point because you knew these sons of bitches were going to fucking VOYAGE! And they did, and there was falling and kicking and Phineas Bogg was like "good job, kid". They should make a VOYAGERS! movie. And then the sequel could be VOYAGERS? because one of the voyagers is beginning to doubt his lot in life. That said, INFORMANT! was pretty good. Great, even One of the best of the year.

02. POOPSHOOT MULLIGAN AND HIS ADVENTURES IN EURASIA

This might have been a movie I made up. For not even being made, it deserves a spot on my "worst of" list. How lazy can you get, people? That said, POOPSHOOT MULLIGAN is not the worst movie of the year. Not by a longshot. That "honor" goes to:

01. TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (2009)

All jestering aside, TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN felt like 5 straight days of a retarded rich kid showing me his toys while punching me in the eardrums. Occasionally his hot sister walks by and you say, "hey retarded rich kid, move your toys so I can see Audrina or whoever" but the retarded rich kid REALLY wants to make sure you notice his newest toy has robot genitals so he shoves them in your face blocking your view of Audrina, and then he plays the newest speed metal ballad until you say uncle. I feel really dumb for having seen this three times.

Thus ends my list (s). What were YOUR favorite movies of 2009? What were YOUR least favorite movies of 2009? Let me know, and give reasons why, so I can regurgitate what you said at cocktail parties and seem smart.

If you want to read more of my nonsense, check out my Twitter HERE.

Order the greatest comic of all time HERE.

My review of TWILIGHT:NEW MOON (posters)

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.

Who wants to read a spoiler-laden review of TWILIGHT: NEW MOON? I know, that would be a sweet scoop. I haven't seen TWILIGHT: NEW MOON. But I have seen the posters for it. And so help me, I will spoil the crap out of these posters.

POSTER 1: No Moon, you CAN'T have my girlfriend.

What happens when you're in love with a girl but her ex-boyfriend is LITERALLY the moon? First of all, lots of dates during the day. Secondly, you can never face each other because your face can't compare to the moon. Get all the hairgel and tats you want, you STILL won't control the tides. So backwards hugging is a must. She can pretend you're the moon.

Kristen Stewart is wonderfully half-dead as the girl who must choose between MAN and MOON. Robert...Patterson? Efron? I want to say Pattinson, is that right? Anyway, he's very compelling as the moon. And Taylor Lautner is just happy to be there. The three dudes that play the Gollum Brothers are hilarious (pictured in the background).

SUGGESTED AD-LINE: A star is boring

POSTER 2: Menudo is back and you owe them money.


Yes, I know they're not Puerto Rican. But they're actors, they can stretch. And stretch they DON'T. Taylor Lautner plays front-man let's go with Enrique. He leads his band onstage every night, lip-syncing before fives of tens of screaming female fans, but can he lead his band to safety when their tour bus crashes in the VERY SAME WOODS that are home to crazed psycho inbreds? You bet your sweet ass he can't! Watch them get killed off uno by uno! Also, something something werewolves.

SUGGESTED AD-LINE: Mique Test. One two three GORE.

POSTER 3: The new SAVED BY THE BELL only on the CW.


From the network that brought you the hip edgy 90210 and MELROSE PLACE remakes and the dark and edgy VAMPIRE DIARIES CHRONICLES, comes the hour long SAVED BY THE BELL drama. Robert Pattinson plays Zack Morris (center of the poster). Zack has the power to HALT TIME when the need arises. However PREPARE THYSELF FOR TH RUB using this ability takes it's toll on him physically, making him pale and tired and mopey and oddly, British.

Zack meets Kelly Kapowski (also center), the hot good girl who also is a bit of a stoner and maybe half-dead. Can Zack sway Kelly away from equally pale bad boy AC Slater (left)? Will AC find true love with also very pale Jessie Spano (left, next to Slater)? Will the very black, very pale Lisa Turtle (right) avoid pale stalker creep Screech (right), who may hold the key to Bayside's overwhelming fog problem? Also starring Peter Facinelli as Mr. Belding.

SUGGESTED AD-LINE: You might not ever get up in the morning. Alarms offer no warning. You won't make it. It's not alright.


POSTER 3: National Lampoon's Theater Fraternity.


Dakota Fanning is wonderful as Fannie, shy freshman at Bill Clinton University, the biggest party school on the west coast. As a legacy of the hot slut sorority Pi Pussy Vagina Sorority, Fannie, by LAW, has to pledge...unless she pledges ANOTHER Greek organization.

Enter DOE RAY ME co-ed theater fraternity. But Fannie freezes up whenever she has to speak in public! Don't worry, because creepy co-pledge Slique Longwill, he of the greasy black hair, will help her...just in time for the GREEK OLYMPICS. Winners get control of the Greek Court! Losers get murdered! WHO MADE THAT RULE?

Will Fannie rise up and help Do Ray Me beat Pi Pussy Vagina? Will she learn a life lesson? Will she kiss Slique Longwill? Answers: Yes, yes, and no he's gay.

SUGGESTED AD-LINE: A movie for anyone who's ever pledged a co-ed theater fraternity. So yes, tell that fat guy that works at the Hallmark Gold Crown store who shows you all those pictures of his many cats to check it out.

POSTER 5: Whoa nelly.


Well, obviously TWILIGHT:NEW MOON is a love triangle between a high school girl, a vampire and a werewolf. This poster spells that out and I feel silly for assuming otherwise.

SUGGESTED AD-LINE: It's not them, it's you.

END SPOILERS.

I hope these possibly SPOILER LADEN REVIEWS have helped. And I truly hope this blog has helped get the word out about TWILIGHT. I would check the movie out in November to see if I'm correct, but I'm pretty sure if I go into that theater alone, Chris Hanson will be waiting to talk to me. And then I'll run out, and a cop dressed as a bush will tackle me, and it will be a whole thing.

You've been TWI-LIT!

If you enjoyed this blog, follow my TWITTER. It's all the fun of my blog, with none of the fat. And if you want to ready my words accompanied by beautiful pictures, check out EVERYBODY'S DEAD.

I love you. Not like that.

LAST ANGEL IN HELL

Available for pre-order is LAST ANGEL IN HELL aka ANGEL annual # 1. Please go to your local comic shoppe and pre-order a copy. It's a comic adaptation of a movie that was never made, it's 40+ pages of awesomeness. You will laugh, you will cry, you will believe Nicholas Cage can play Angel. It also has fake ads for movie tie-in cereal, action figures, etc.

Here's the official solicitation:

ANGEL ANNUAL #1

Written by Brian Lynch, art by Stephen Mooney, covers by Mooney.

When L.A. went to Hell in After the Fall, so did thousands of screenwriters, one of whom wrote a movie based on Angel's experiences there. The first-ever Angel Annual presents an adaptation of Angel's travails, Hollywood-style, in Angel: Last Angel in Hell: The Official Movie Adaptation. Mooney presents two movie poster covers, one featuring the real Angel and company, the other with their Hollywood counterparts.